.. now that alexia left.. the last person from my list of most admired moments spent with.. that all left me to be alone... now is the time where i can say.. i feel lonely... i make new friends every year that dont stay...or discovered a friend but its actually too late... i think the best way to spend this summer is with family and the community... i dont know what God here is trying to tell me... does he want me to spend more time alone.. or does he want me to keep having friends that wont stay... or does he want me to find friends somewhere else... i'll always ask what God wants the best for me.. i wont ask why.. because i wont have to... this is me accepting the fact that i again without a friend to be really close with...because i believe that things are mostly for the better.. not the worst... but i also believe that im not living the way im suppose to be living... i still dont know my purpose or my desires... but am i suppose to.. questions like these... are getting in the way of how i think i should live my everyday life.. i guess what we really have to ask ourselves is what do we really want it to be... because i know for a fact that its also up to us on how we choose to live... As i think of this.. i actually like how i live.. its right and convenient.. and i am happy.. apart from all the boringness i am... but i guess.. i also imagined myself making a change or an impact in this world... and im still finding the inspiration on how and what il do it in...

(these are the thoughts of the day.. bye..) mwahness