well.. there is a reason why i havent been in touch lately or been writing latley... the school has been giving me loads of work every single nite and day.. This the year where i actually gave crap about hw.. well.. its good in a way for its more challenging and its bad in a way for i have less time doing whatever i want to do..(like watching series!)...heeh lol... but yea... theres nothing going on in my mind yet and there are number of things that happened while i was not writing here.. but im pretty lazy to explain them in "detail".. but... later.. maybe il have the motivation to.. oki i have it..


hmm.. well i guess the first major thing that had happened before i got 'sick' again.. was the very heart emptying and burden freeing conversation i had with the blast from the 3 months.. past... well.. i had the nerve to give him this site.. so i'll be free... of my denials... and it didnt go that bad..well i still had questions to ask but then i think i was still to shy too.. but yea.. hmpph.. that was a very heartbeating moment again.. but its over and done.. move on kim.. and find a hot american spanish bf... i wish!... but yea.. ( guys are so out of my radar now)... i have no idea why... theres just no new ones.. that are good enough i can like and look in to...hehe lol...but yea..

the day after that i was sick for five days!!... which gave me a BIG hold back from my studies.. hated it and hated it so much.. but yea.. i lost weight that was the only advantage i had out of my 5 day sickness... although it was torturing... i was crying every time i was left alone.. pretty annoying actually...

As i have been praying for this school year to be fun, exciting and educational, i felt like it was answered in a way but it wasnt clear... Now that a full week has just finished, i find myself still wanting to go to school despite the desertedness i feel while im there....(shocking rite).I guess now i find all of my classes pretty exciting... (besides all of the work they give us)..... all of these work makes my hand want to explode... Im suppose to be doing a paper now...about my one and most important fear... il write another entry about that particular fear...hehe lol...well.. apart from all of these hard work and weekly assignment..i have seen a great improvement in the school.....nicer people.. (HOTTER teachers) haha lol....

but yea what i learned now is that... you have to make your own happiness and that negativity, its all a state of mind... now its really clear that if you want something to happen.. you yourself have to make it happen...that sometimes you just have to make the most of things... in a way you cant just always scream "hell the world" ...........cuz there are always suprises in life that simply inspires u...people might go.. but they can also suddenly come back........ we should live life with dreams to capture not expectations to be reached.... for we should always dream big... cuz all our expectations cant be reach every single time....



well that it for today
cant seem to think straight tonite.. maybe tomoorrow

signed out..
-now he talks...and lost hope in my temporary insanity

....every single time i see an amazing concert... artists performing, succeeding, making the most beautiful music to fill our ears and hearts..it gives me the inspiration to do the same... i want to play music, make music, just anything with music...its like suddenly i want to be just like them..... to be one of the legends in music and different genres of music...

i have been performing for a very long time.. people say your good...but i dont see myself as one...not the performer or the musician i expect from myself at least.... although its very fortunate of me to actually get to perform in numerous shows and for different occasions.. there's always this negativity that fills me up, for i've been doing shows that are sometimes and mostly forced... which in those shows i cant seem to enjoy.. its not performing anymore its something to have to do........you cant appreciate what you did on stage anymore, although you still have the energy and the blood rising feeling... once you get out of stage..your just happy that it is finally over... i want to feel like doing an encore... i want to want to go up on stage on my own will...on my own efforts, playing my own chosen music... no limitations, no judgments, no complaints....i want to be touring in a musical, i want to have my very own single, i want to compete in dance competitions, i want to have my own band........

ARE THESE TOO MUCH TO ASK??




signing out
where is my temporary insanity...??

i again buried myself with the problems of my one and only most favorite series of all...
PRISON BREAK
there are so many reasons why i watch this series.. first its really intense and exciting and oh so interesting...and second of all is because of the hottie in the movie WENTWORTH MILLER... well i know there has been some "unofficial" rumours that his gay (pictures dont mean anything).. well not to me.. but i myself have a good gay radar.. and my gay radar doesnt .... have signal of gayness in him at all.!!... well i guess im just oh so in love with him in the series.. well who wouldnt be.. he has the brains, the looks, and all the HOT expressions that you can just die with...and most of all he has the most amazing eyes...(if i ever see a guy as hot as him with eyes like him... il say yes to everything no doubt) .... i can say this... i live in thailand people.. where do u often see a hot guy... lemme guess ... actually once in a blue moon...........
HE is also such a good actor... hmph... sigh... i just love his beautiful, handsome beauty..........

this message is specifically for mariel... ahumm ahumm.... ( u noe why iel)... you can post your own entry for cristiano ronaldo yourself.. but il still win.... im very very very...positive that i'll win...mwah see you at school.. here's a picture of him so you and other people that will read this... will drool... and love him as much as i do.. hehe lol...



signing off...
gosh get a life kim.. hehe lol...
missing my temporary insanity...( will be needing another soon) ;)

school started last thursday.. and it was what i would say "phew"... i survived the irritating first day... im a kind of girl who has so much expectations and other dreams that i so much want to experience and see with my own eyes.. especially in reality... so maybe i overestimated the capability of the school to actually get HOT new students.. and maybe another best friend to help me survive another terrifying year... i mean im not getting anymore younger even if im still young.. but im a sophomore... and it scares me... i mean i need people or even just one person who i can socialize with that's my level.. i love talking to the people who are a grade older than me.. but i want someone who i feel comfortable with and who i can stick with.. someone who helps me cope up with my insecurities....
bew and arek left.. the only people in class that i can relate with.. even though mild is still there...i cant seem to find the friendship connection with him.. like i found with bew and arek.. i mean i dont just click with him like i did with them... but i guess its my year to be independent ..to know how to stand up alone... but the more im independent the more.. i get to my day-dreaming of the day where its all better.. where the better actually lasts....i always admired the stories of best friends.. but everytime i get close to that that's when i actually lose it....

its the last day of summer... and of course.. im trying to do everything i still can do when its summer... well i woke up at 11:15 and ate...drowned myself wit tekken 5.. now its very addictive than tv.. well now we're actually moving our hands instead of sitting... (there is a big difference between ps2 and television).. hehe lol.. (that's my theory).. and after that... the last summer hiphop abs workout... but wont be least... and now im here sitting in front of the computer posting my last summer entry.. because from now on this blog will be filled with school stuff.. or weekend stuff... sigh.. this life of mine.. hehe lol... well now its time for me to say goodbye to all the summer fun il miss..

: sleepovers with mariel..celine and kyli.. and of course my sister..
:hangouts with yfl 3 times a week... wherever and whosever house.. hehe lol..(memorable times indeed)
: scary story telling with yfl..( yup until now we're all pretty freaked)...
:late nites wit family and brothers and sisters
:afternoon wakings..eating brunch or lunch every single day
:movie marathons with many people.. dont let me name them
:ice-skating with kevin( il miss the ngkaions)
:endless house paintings
:endless fun birthday parties.. and more to come..(theme parties)
:card game events.. with yfl and with family
: household house hopping
:COUNSELING
:laziness.... (watching the whole friends)
: gluttonious.. acts.. millions of them..
:movie mania with yfl....
:blog sharings with mariel
: facebook craziness with everyone...
and lots more..

and of course there are things to look forward too...
:SOPHOMORE YEAR
: new one tree hill season, heroes, grey's anatomy and all the others
:sisterhood of the traveling pants 2
:new people to meet
: yfl camp
:tania's debut
:new hot teachers ;)
:continuing of this blog
:continuing of movie marathons with everyone
: future performances
and others that may come expected or unexpected..( and of course i will keep everyone posted)... see you all..



signed out:
also the last day of my temporary insanity( il say bye to you too)..

:

2 and a half days left of this summer... how fast it seems... i have this much days and hours to actually lose weight, fix skirts, fix nail polish, make every part of me...simply perfect, simple but elegant.... now you can say ... im pretty obsessed with myself... dont worry this only happens when im trying to make a very good impression... which is rarely... but yea...i want people to have a good first impression of me... even though the majority of the students in our school now is thai.. and bew left and alexia left.. so im left with annoying alan.. but of course... i have mariel... and tania and ayumi... thers a good side to every bad side rite???... well...this year my schedule will be pretty tight.....schedule from sports to study time(homework) to music practices to dance practices... i have to be friendly to all the dancers in the school because im goin to need them... sigh!....but yea.. il survive...i just need yfl every weekend or not and i'll pretty sure will be fine... so yea.. here i go again... i welcome SOPHOMORE YEAR 2008-2009.. ready or not... here comes me myself and i....

P.S.- i hope now people il get close with will actually stay..