....i havent been in front of the computer for 3 whole days.. so i kind of feel out of touch from this blog....

yesterday night i was reminscing again.. i cant seem just to get over it.. i mean i am over it.. but i cant forget it.. and i dont want to forget it... i dont noe wat to do.. oh wait maybe i do know but i just dont want to do it... ( im in need of guidance here..and no one knows exactli how i feel....except the person who can oonly read this.).. but sooner or later.. il open up.. not now.. im having too much fun with this...

....there are too much "what ifs".. floating around my mind... but then i realized maybe it was suppose to be this way.. maybe God has a plan to actually make me feel so much better.... maybe it was suppose to be this way because i wasnt ready... maybe it wasnt suppose to happen yet.. maybe later there is something more... well that's the thing.. we are all expecting for more...

tito jason said once in a teaching that... we are all breaking down and falling from the things that come unexpected because the things that we planned didnt go our way...but then the things we planned we assume is also God's plan... that's why everytime we fall we ask im why and we seem to blame it on him....that's why we just got to accept whatever happens because not everything will always go our way....that's why we have to turn to him so we can get something more...

i have my own doubts in my religion but not the kind that will make me not believe in it anymore...Catholicism is my life.. but i guess the shitty things that happens will make you go further away from it... the priest once told us....God doesnt need to be worshipped.. but we do... because worshipping reminds us of why we're here.. and it brings us back to him.. because we always fall from what we belive in... to be closer to God.. we have to learn to be with him horizontally not vertical... it shoudnt always be you and god alone all the time.... it should be you.. everyone else and god.. because it is impossible to be closer to him alone... that's why there's community.. we all have to gather together and worship him...

this homily even made me sure and happier that i am in a community.. and made me even sadder in the fact that our community split.. it sucks.. but we go on.... to build something bigger.. and as we defeat... the evils that are setting the community apart.. sooner or later.. we'll be united...